There are so many people who are angry I moved to the US. I don’t know why though. I received a bunch of hate mail, and another bunch of hate blogs.
The thing angry readers used to call me the most while I was still in Iraq was “saddamist”, or “baathist”. Some other times I was a “zarqawi”, or “bin laden”. But since I moved to the US, the labels are changing. Now my angry readers call me “Anti-American” every time I say the word “occupation”, or every time I put the words bad and Iraq in the same sentence (and I do this a lot). In fact, there are a handful of websites and blogs who started an online campaign for sending tips about me to the FBI!
Hehehe!
I swear to god, I’m not kidding here!
One of my readers copied and pasted the following discussion from one of these sites. I checked it later myself, and it is authentic. Here is the revised and sanitized copy of it. Read and laugh:
Do you know it wouldn't bother me in the least to throw Raed to the lions?
********* Email Homepage **.10.06 - 1:21 pm #
Maybe the Dept. of Immigration will kick it up a notch and actually do more than a paper look.
Anyone know if that is at all possible.
Deport Raed back to the land of the Arabs and let him enjoy their leadership.
****** ****** Email Homepage **.11.06 - 4:35 pm #
I sent the FBI an email complaining about this *******-he should not be allowed to be in the US because of his anti-American antics etc-and surprisingly I got a call about 30 minutes later from the FBI asking about Raed. I told him what I knew-what I had read-and he told me that maybe immigration might be a better place to call. I hope they shake this ******** down-everyone should alert the authorities about this guys past, so that he gets a real American welcome right before being deported.
bbb Email Homepage **.11.06 - 6:55 pm #
Anybody have the number for INS in San Francisco? I could probably find it myself but I think it'd be more fun if ******* did it :D
***** Email Homepage **.12.06 - 2:39 am #
*Write a letter or e-mail to your state and district Congress Critters:
Senate
http://www.senate.gov/
House of Reps
http://www.house.gov/writerep/
* cc [within your e-mail list of all parties sent a copy]
then send the same e-mail to the following:
FBI
http://www.fbi.gov/contact/fo/fo.htm
Homeland Security Contacts
http://www.dhs.gov/dhspublic/ int...torial_0291.xml
etc.
***** **** Email Homepage **.12.06 - 6:08 am #
Throw me to the lions! Were you watching gladiator lately?!
:*)
Anyway, I should admire anyone who’s trying to kick me outside my new home in a legal way. At least it’s better than invading my country. Contacting the FBI is a good idea if you think anyone is a risk to the US. It’s our responsibility as US residents and citizens to keep this country safe and sound. But I wonder what that guy told the FBI on the phone!
FBI: hello, this is the FBI
BBB: oh, it’s raeeeed, he’s the one, he’s the one you’re searching for, kill him, please
FBI: ok ok … please tell us more about him.
BBB: He blogs, yeah, he blogs bad things, yeah, and he makes fun of bush, yeah
FBI: Hmmm… what else?
BBB: yeah, he wants the troops to come back home, yeah, he makes fun of bush
Hehe!
Usually, many of the angry mob calm down after my copy-and-paste explanation about the differences between anti-Americanism and anti-US-foreign-policy (USFP). “It’s only in the interest of extremists on both sides to collapse anti US-foreign-policy with Anti US as a country and people”, or “I wish there were two flags, one of the US, and the other for the pentagon and the US foreign policy”. Yet, one of the angry readers had a bigger problem that took me longer to resolve: I am secular, not communist!
What’s wrong with you dude? It’s not the fifties anymore! For god’s sake! I would choose to be a neo-con before becoming a red-mullah!
This labeling business sucks! If you’re a Middle Eastern live in the US and you’re not driving a GM truck with Freedom Babes’ sticker on one bumper and Support Our Troops on the other, expect an “Anti-American” sticker to get stuck on your forehead soon, in addition to the high chances of being called a “Moooozlim women oppressor”. In fact, even if you were not Middle Eastern, you still should put the support our troops on your 4x4, but replace the Freedom Babes with a United We Stand, that’s feminist enough I guess.
Falling under the anti-Americanism category is like being called “Kafer” under Islamic theocracies, except that smoking a freaking cigarette in Saudi Arabia during Ramadan can get you something bigger than a sticker landing on your forehead.
Some writer in the LA times dared to open his mouth last month and say “I don’t support the troops”. You can read his article here. The guy wrote this loooooooong apologetic article saying oh I love the troops I love my country I hate the terrorists blah blah blah, but I don’t support the troops because they’re doing something wrong. So he actually meant “I don’t support what the troops are doing, but I support them”. Then he goes “But it's really not that easy to say because anyone remotely affiliated with the military could easily beat me up, and I'm listed in the phone book”.
Hahahahahahahahahha!
How come the yellow stickers with “Support our troops” don’t have a fine print saying “please don’t beat me up, please don’ break my car’s windows, please don’t leave me with flat tires, oh I don't support killing civilians”.
You want to know why?
Because most of the people who support the occupation are violent assholes. That’s why. They are intimidating violent gangsters backed up by the bush administration. They should be held accountable for each murder done by the illegal occupation of Iraq. Everyone who supports the occupation is personally responsible for the death of every Iraqi who is killed because of the illegal US invasion. Supporting the occupation is not a club for proving your patriotism, it’s an action affecting the lives of millions of people, and it’s an action affecting the lives of the troops themselves. (less than 40% of Americans support the war one Iraq, click here and read what the polls have to say)
How come supporting the troops ended up being sending them to kill and be killed?!?!
If you really support the troops and care for them, you should bring them back home as soon as possible. Enough killing and getting killed, it’s the time they come back home and join their families.
Let me modify our wussy friend’s statement to be like this: “It's really not that easy to say because anyone remotely affiliated with the military would want to beat me up, but I’m ready to stand for my words and defend myself.”
Yeah!
I even have pepper spray!
Yeah!
Some reader / efriend from Egypt emailed me about my blog earlier this week. She asked me to include some good aspects about the US, so that I won’t sound “Anti-American” for her. She says that the roads are big and impressive in the US, and the malls and food are so exciting.
I wonder if other writers hammering the Iranian and Saudi governments for being Moooollaz get the same kinds of emails telling him or her: “how come you don’t say anything good about the Iranian food while discussing the nuclear issue”, or “how come you don’t mention how great the streets are in Saudi Arabia when you write about the right of Saudi women to drive”. Well, let’s hope that some angry readers do that as well.
Back to my Egyptian efriend, she said that searching for positive things about the US on my blog is like searching for pornography on Islamic websites.
But I always freak out when someone burn a US flag, I think it’s wrong and shouldn’t be done, isn’t that a nice thing?
But I always want the US soldiers to come back home and stop being attacked and killed, as much as I care for Iraqis being mass murdered by them and because of them, isn’t that a nice thing?
She said it’s not nice enough. So I sent her my suggestions for good porn websites so that she stop digging Al-Azhar’s, and here I am dedicating this paragraph for her and every other reader looking for a cheesy light at the end of the blog.
There is something special about the In-N-Out cheese burger, there is something special about the onions there. Here are three secret tips about it.
1- In-N-out is one of my favorite fast food places. Did you know that they have a secret menu there? Try ordering 3x3 or 4x4 and see what you’ll get.
2- In addition, you can ask for grilled onions instead of the regular raw ones. They have the best root beer as well, so don’t forget to consume some.
3- Did you know that some nymphomaniac customers take out the first b and last r of burger? Hehe.
Oh, and there is a nice bridge near it too. I *heart* the US roads.
Fin.
UPDATE: Playing the game of lables, my praise of the cheesburger found approval, it made a Kameradenpolizei shriek "I am shocked. I am amazed. I am flabbergasted". Let's see if I'll get more blessings from other Kapos and McCarthy-style-rats.
